The latest arrival on the Ship of Fail that is the House GOP is this: the two impeachment articles that were pending against Homeland Security Secretary Alejandro Mayorkas have been dismissed by the Senate as of yesterday (51-48-1 since Sen. Murkowski voted “present”). Why were they told to visit the shrine of St. Felicia, patron saint of bye? The Senate found the articles “unconstitutional”. Senate Majority Leader Chuck Schumer said “Impeachment Article One does not allege conduct that rises to the level of a high crime or misdemeanor… and is therefore unconstitutional.” He did the same thing with Article Two. Remember that the far right flank refused to allow a border funding bill to pass because the Tanchurian candidate told them to. This is the first impeachment trial of a cabinet member since 1876 (Secretary of War William Belknap). Articles of impeachment are “privileged items”, meaning they have to be discussed as soon as the Senate gets them from the House because it’s Important Political Stuff, goddamit.
The strategy here is pretty transparent: the House GOP are trying to make the word “impeachment” lose its meaning, so that it won’t have the same sting, they think, when applied to the twice-impeached orange manbaby currently on trial and facing a future in durance vile.
There were floor speeches, of course: fucking Fled Cancruz (Sen. Ted Cruz, R-TX) had to get up there and do his thing. Said Cruz the Cuck: “The Majority Leader has argued that Secretary Mayorkas’s defiance of federal immigration law, and active aiding and abetting of the worst criminal invasion in our nation’s history, does not constitute a high crime or misdemeanor. He has presented no argument on that question, presented no briefing on that question.”
Schumer fired back, and I’m telling you, it was some pretty entertaining stuff, because Schumer is just over Cruz the Cuck and you can tell. “We gave your side a chance for debate in public where it should be, and your side objected. We are moving forward [with the vote].”
Squirtle McTurtle (Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell R-KY) made a floor speech as well. “The Senators swore oaths to do impartial justice according to the Constitution and the laws of our country… As a court of impeachment we’re called out to speak, not to debate, but to listen, both to the case against the accused and to his defense… I would urge each of our colleagues to consider this is what the framers actually envisioned. This process must not be abused, must not be short-circuited; history will not judge this moment well.”
Wonder how history will judge your refusal to impeach Trump for his actions on January 6? Or your refusal to vote on Merrick Garland’s Supreme Court nomination? Or when you filibustered your own bill on December 6, 2012? You may not remember, but the Internet never forgets. Nor does Pepperidge Farm. I need some Milanos. Okay, focus. Politics. Right.
Here’s the breakdown of what went down yesterday:
Motion to proceed to closed session (Cruz R-TX). Fail.
Motion to delay to April 30 (Kennedy R-LA). Fail.
Motion to table Sen. Schumers point of order that article 1 is unconstitutional (McConnell R-KY). Fail.
Vote of point of order by Schumer (D-NY) that article 1 is unconstitutional (it fails to allege an impeachable offense). Pass.
Motion to proceed to closed session (Lee R-UT). Fail.
Motion to delay to April 30 (Scott R-FL). Fail.
Motion to delay to May 1 (Kennedy R-LA). Fail.
Motion to proceed to executive session (Kennedy R-LA). Fail.
Motion to adjourn until November 6. (Marshall R-KS). Fail.
Motion to table Sen. Schumers point of order that article 1 is unconstitutional (Thune R-SD). Fail.
Vote of point of order by Schumer (D-NY) that article 2 is unconstitutional. Pass.
Vote to adjourn session. Pass.
I’m a loser, baby, so why don’t you kill me?
The House GOP just keeps on losing, and Rep. Jared Moskowitz (D-FL) had something to say after Moscow Taylor Greene bleated out her assertions yesterday in the House about “the Nazis in Ukraine and their recruitment efforts that go all around the world”, even comparing Ukraine’s government to Nazi Germany.
This is the far-right pushing back against Speaker Mike Johnson’s bid to bring a bill to a floor vote for aid to Ukraine but Moscow Methany’s rhetoric is the same as Putin’s when he used it to justify his war on Ukraine.
Moskowitz was not having it at all and he set her straight. “There are no concentration camps in Ukraine. They’re not taking babies and shooting them in the ear because they’re Jewish. There’s no gas chambers. There’s no ovens. They’re not railing people in, they’re not ripping gold out of people’s mouths. They’re not taking stuff out of their homes. They’re not trying to erase a people, the Ukrainians… Stop bringing up Nazis and Hitler. The only people who know about Nazis and Hitler are the 10 million people and their families who lost their loved ones — generations of people who were wiped out. It is enough of this disgusting behavior, using Nazis as propaganda. You want to talk about Nazis? Get yourself over to the Holocaust Museum. You go see what Nazis did. It’s despicable that we use that, and we allow it, and we sit here like somehow it’s regular.”
Political theater at its finest. Moscow Methany introduced two interesting amendments to the funding bill. One: “Any member of Congress who votes in favor of this Act shall be required to conscript in the Ukranian military.”
And the other? Priceless. “By the funds made available by this Act, such sums as necessary shall be used for the development of laser technology on the southwest border.” But are they Jewish lasers? Papa, can you hear me?
Putin, come get your dog. She’s pissing all over the House again.
That’s all I have for you today, kittens.
First, I love" Moscow Methany Taylor Greene!" and, good for Moscowitz (somewhat ironically named in this context, but whatever)--an excellent summary of what an asshole MMTG is!! I didn't know about that stellar retort, thanks for sharing it.